CARROTS AND CONTACTS ETC!
by Nazrogs of Mirkwood
Summary: random role plays some serious some funny, joint story aragorn will most likly be in all of them
1. Chapter 1

: aragorn: legolas there is a weed that no one can pull up can you use your magical elf powers to up root it?

: Legolas: Magical elf powers?

: faramir: and the royal tree of minas tirith is dyeing...

: aragorn: yes magical elven powers!

: Legolas: And what are said magical elven powers?

: faramir: tree still dying..

: aragorn: I DONT KNOW YOU HAVE A CONNECTION WITH NATURE UP ROOT IT!!

: faramir: tree is dead

: pippen: glares at weed

: Legolas: Hello Pippen, how was filming your new movie you traitor

: marry: why must you glare at weed i alrady told you that having a staring contest with in animent objects you are going to lose

: pippen: i am not a traitor legolas or maybea should i call you paris of troy of william turner..

: or william turner not of william turner

: Legolas: Touché

: pippen: no touchey

: Legolas: Its touché Pippin not touchey

: pippen: i know but your being touchey

: Legolas: Beam me up Scotty

: pippen: okay paree

: pippen: by the way how is helen i heard she is kinda explosive these days

: Legolas: -_-'

: faramir: the tree is dead just to let you know

: Legolas: Faramir, why do we care about the tree?

: faramir: its the tree of minas tirith

: Legolas: aaaaaaand?

: aragorn: the weed is still there...

: Legolas: Why don't up just go and steal Sams magical dirt?

: aragorn: smas magical dirt??!?!?!?!?

: pippen: SAM HAS NO MAGICAL DIRT!!!

: Legolas: Yes he does, he got it from Galadriel

: everyone....?

: sam: i got a rope...

: gadriel: that was in the movie...i gave you magic dirt in the book

: aragorn: magic dirt makes things grow we dont need the weed to grow we need it to die

: Legolas: No, in the book he got both

: Legolas: Yes Aragorn, but if its magical then it should be able to kill the weeds so you don't have to pull them

: *gimli rushes into the screen screaming* he began to beat his axe against the weed

: Everyone: O_O

: elrond: no weapon made bye man can kill the weed of sauron

: Legolas: But Gimli isn't a man, hes a dwarf...

: elrond: the weed must be destrayed by casting it into the dirt of wich it was made...

: elrond: LEGOLAS NO BACK TALK!!!

: Legolas: Okay, okay, I was just saying

: any ways the dirt of mound doom

: Legolas: Verry creative

: where the all hearing ear lives... and hears

: elrond: LEGOLAS YOUR GROUNDED!

: Legolas: You are not my father, and I'm a 3,000 year old elf, you can't ground me

: ELROND: POINTS TO LEGOLAS'S BEDROOM " GROUNDED!!"

: Legolas: Estel, can you back me up here?

: * estel stops trying to set fire to the weed and syas " cant help right now..."

: Legolas: Estel, wern't you paying attion, we have to take the weed to MOUND doom

: Legolas: it wont die any other way apperntly

: aragorn: that sound familier....

: gimli: and i supposed that you will be the one to take it

: Legolas: Me? Apperntly I can't, I'm grounded

: frodo: before we get into this argument i will take the ring to mudador

: elrond: all nine of you will go to mudador

: Legolas: Nine?

: nine!

: elrond: is that back talk?

: Legolas: No.....

: elrond: good.. all nine!

: Legolas: May I ask who these nine are?

: elrond: legolas ressurect boromeir

: Legolas: Why me?

: elrond: back talk?!??!?!?!!?

: Legolas: Fine, but I don't see why we just don't take Farameir

: elrond: legolas??!!!

: Legolas: Yes?

: elrond: grounder!

: elrond: you must carry the pots and pans!

: Legolas: And if I refuse?

: sam: i thought that was my job!

: Legolas: Yes, that is Sams job, what would he do?

: elrond: i shall tell thranduril that you have agreed to marry eyown

: Legolas

: Legolas: *twitch*

: elrond: sam will carry the silver ware

: Legolas: *twitch twitch*

: estel: we all see that you are twitching

: Legolas: Elrond, you wouldn't do that

: elrond: watch me!

: Legolas: but then you would have to listen to my fathers ranting about how his son is merrying a human

: elrond: i shall be arranging the wedding

: Legolas: rember your feelings about Estel merrying your daughter

: elrond: yes....

: merry: i hate it when my name becomes confused with marry

: Legolas: My father would express that twords you, and you know how he is

: elrond: and you point is...?

: Legolas: If you didn't like his ranting about sending me off with the fellowship, this is going to be ten times worse

: frodo: we just got back from destroying the weed

: estel: ding dong the weed is dead the wicked weed the weed is dead

: hobbits: ding dong the wicked weed is dead!

: Legolas: Estel, why are you singing?

: estel: didnt you hear the news the weed is dead

: Legolas: Yes, but why are you singing the song that goes with the wicked witch?

: and the ear of sauron is gone foreever

: and minants turf is safe

: huzzah!

: so only one ear is gone?

: the other is still out there then!

: elrond: curse you legolas!


	2. Chapter 2

: pippen; OH MY GOSH *GANDALF WALKS IN WEARING A SPEEPO WITHA HORRIBLE MOON BURN

: frodo: thats... thatsmentally scaring

: Legolas: I second that

: aragorn gimli and legolas: *twitch*

: boromeir: maybea we should send deneathor, and gandalf to the spa next?

: Legolas: I thought you died

: merry: but pippen wants to gowith them, they can have a mud bath together!

: aragorn:that perverted

: pippen : id rather be peeled alive

: pip: then be---hey who abbreveated my thingy that says i am talking?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: oh sorry,

: perigrin:real funny

: Homicidalpotatoes: Jasperwillkillmytoaster, don't do that, and no more calling Gandalf G-dog

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: FINE!!

: Homicidalpotatoes: Thank you

: *RUNS TO MINAS TIRITH

: I thought you blew that up

: everyone: should we be scared?

: yes, yes you should

: *minas tirth explodes*

: O_o

: everyone: oh my god

: *ah flaming gimli land in front of them*

: Legolas: I vote we don't put him out

: gimli: we didnt know, we could save them, too late

: aragorn: put him out with what!?!?1

: Legolas: Thats the point, we don't put him out

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *appers with fire extiguisher*

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: will this work?

: aragorn: yes

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *beats gimli over the head with fire extinguisher*

: Pippin: What the heck?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: worked al right" *skips away into mordor where screams of terror from the eye can be heard

: Legolas: I enjoy this person

: Everyone other than Legolas: *bangs their head on rocks*

: aragorn: that girl makes sauron seem like barbie

: Legolas: *Thinking: At least they arn't talking about the insane idea that Gimli and I are married......*

: gimli: marry her

: *flamming orc appers and scorched gimli

: Legolas: You wan't me to marry the evil of the Earth?

: legolas: didnt you learn NOT TO TEASE HER!?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: he is older that my caveman ancestors

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: we are not asking you to marry the toaster are we

: Legolas: Good point, I am 3,000 years older than she is

: aragorn: wait all nine nazgul approach, take the hobbits homicidalpotatoes jasperwillkillmytoaster go home, get safe!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: aragorn thats gimli moaning in agony

: Homicidalpotatoes: You think the Nazguls would stand a chance aginst Jasperwillkillmytoaster?

: everybody turns to look at gimli

: lets show a flash back

: flashback!!!!

: Oh god

: you ever going to start the flashback?

: the sounds of the deep breathing of the naz gul filled the air."homicidalpotatoes....." jasperwillkillmytoaster whispered. "what?" homicidalpotatoes hissed back. "your not scared are you" jasperwillkillmytoaster said. HELL YES!!!" homicidalpotatoes answerd. "ha," jasperwillkillmytoaster jumps forward. anyone withen a 100 mile radius of weathrstrop that night could her the wail and cries of the naz-gul running screaming from the old fortress any body walking around near bree could find a naz gul sucking his thumb in fetal position.

: end of flashback!!

: I wouldn't have been scared

: alcia: except for the fact that i had a torch...

: I still would not have been scared

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: sure sure

: legolas: where were you when we battled for middle earth!?!?!

: getting her allergy stabs, shes allergic to the world

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: not alive

: if you wern't Alive then how are they here now, suggesting that they are from an alternete demisnon

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO REVEAL MY ONE WEAKNESS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

: lol

: they arent here we are there

: what that your allergic to the grass

: homicidalpotatoes!!

: then we could have gone there during the war

: gimli: you mean i could defeat her with this, *hold up hand ful of grass*?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: try it dwarf see what happens

: no, not when she has her alleregy impalements

: gimlidoesnt listen to warning and throws grass at jasperwillkillmytoaster*

: aragorn: it was nice knowing you gimli...

: Legolas: good bye

: saron: *watching the fanghorn forset and see a dwarf size shape fly out of the forest and into moria*

: *dies of laugter*

: i think we should cut

: the end!!

: okay


	3. Chapter 3

: pippen; OH MY GOSH *GANDALF WALKS IN WEARING A SPEEPO WITHA HORRIBLE MOON BURN

: frodo: thats... thatsmentally scaring

: Legolas: I second that

: aragorn gimli and legolas: *twitch*

: boromeir: maybea we should send deneathor, and gandalf to the spa next?

: Legolas: I thought you died

: merry: but pippen wants to gowith them, they can have a mud bath together!

: aragorn:that perverted

: pippen : id rather be peeled alive

: pip: then be---hey who abbreveated my thingy that says i am talking?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: oh sorry,

: perigrin:real funny

: Homicidalpotatoes: Jasperwillkillmytoaster, don't do that, and no more calling Gandalf G-dog

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: FINE!!

: Homicidalpotatoes: Thank you

: *RUNS TO MINAS TIRITH

: I thought you blew that up

: everyone: should we be scared?

: yes, yes you should

: *minas tirth explodes*

: O_o

: everyone: oh my god

: *ah flaming gimli land in front of them*

: Legolas: I vote we don't put him out

: gimli: we didnt know, we could save them, too late

: aragorn: put him out with what!?!?1

: Legolas: Thats the point, we don't put him out

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *appers with fire extiguisher*

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: will this work?

: aragorn: yes

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *beats gimli over the head with fire extinguisher*

: Pippin: What the heck?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: worked al right" *skips away into mordor where screams of terror from the eye can be heard

: Legolas: I enjoy this person

: Everyone other than Legolas: *bangs their head on rocks*

: aragorn: that girl makes sauron seem like barbie

: Legolas: *Thinking: At least they arn't talking about the insane idea that Gimli and I are married......*

: gimli: marry her

: *flamming orc appers and scorched gimli

: Legolas: You wan't me to marry the evil of the Earth?

: legolas: didnt you learn NOT TO TEASE HER!?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: he is older that my caveman ancestors

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: we are not asking you to marry the toaster are we

: Legolas: Good point, I am 3,000 years older than she is

: aragorn: wait all nine nazgul approach, take the hobbits homicidalpotatoes jasperwillkillmytoaster go home, get safe!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: aragorn thats gimli moaning in agony

: Homicidalpotatoes: You think the Nazguls would stand a chance aginst Jasperwillkillmytoaster?

: everybody turns to look at gimli

: lets show a flash back

: flashback!!!!

: Oh god

: you ever going to start the flashback?

: the sounds of the deep breathing of the naz gul filled the air."homicidalpotatoes....." jasperwillkillmytoaster whispered. "what?" homicidalpotatoes hissed back. "your not scared are you" jasperwillkillmytoaster said. HELL YES!!!" homicidalpotatoes answerd. "ha," jasperwillkillmytoaster jumps forward. anyone withen a 100 mile radius of weathrstrop that night could her the wail and cries of the naz-gul running screaming from the old fortress any body walking around near bree could find a naz gul sucking his thumb in fetal position.

: end of flashback!!

: I wouldn't have been scared

: alcia: except for the fact that i had a torch...

: I still would not have been scared

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: sure sure

: legolas: where were you when we battled for middle earth!?!?!

: getting her allergy stabs, shes allergic to the world

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: not alive

: if you wern't Alive then how are they here now, suggesting that they are from an alternete demisnon

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO REVEAL MY ONE WEAKNESS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

: lol

: they arent here we are there

: what that your allergic to the grass

: homicidalpotatoes!!

: then we could have gone there during the war

: gimli: you mean i could defeat her with this, *hold up hand ful of grass*?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: try it dwarf see what happens

: no, not when she has her alleregy impalements

: gimlidoesnt listen to warning and throws grass at jasperwillkillmytoaster*

: aragorn: it was nice knowing you gimli...

: Legolas: good bye

: saron: *watching the fanghorn forset and see a dwarf size shape fly out of the forest and into moria*

: *dies of laugter*

: i think we should cut

: the end!!

: okay


	4. Chapter 4

: pippen; OH MY GOSH *GANDALF WALKS IN WEARING A SPEEPO WITHA HORRIBLE MOON BURN

: frodo: thats... thatsmentally scaring

: Legolas: I second that

: aragorn gimli and legolas: *twitch*

: boromeir: maybea we should send deneathor, and gandalf to the spa next?

: Legolas: I thought you died

: merry: but pippen wants to gowith them, they can have a mud bath together!

: aragorn:that perverted

: pippen : id rather be peeled alive

: pip: then be---hey who abbreveated my thingy that says i am talking?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: oh sorry,

: perigrin:real funny

: Homicidalpotatoes: Jasperwillkillmytoaster, don't do that, and no more calling Gandalf G-dog

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: FINE!!

: Homicidalpotatoes: Thank you

: *RUNS TO MINAS TIRITH

: I thought you blew that up

: everyone: should we be scared?

: yes, yes you should

: *minas tirth explodes*

: O_o

: everyone: oh my god

: *ah flaming gimli land in front of them*

: Legolas: I vote we don't put him out

: gimli: we didnt know, we could save them, too late

: aragorn: put him out with what!?!?1

: Legolas: Thats the point, we don't put him out

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *appers with fire extiguisher*

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: will this work?

: aragorn: yes

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: *beats gimli over the head with fire extinguisher*

: Pippin: What the heck?!?!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: worked al right" *skips away into mordor where screams of terror from the eye can be heard

: Legolas: I enjoy this person

: Everyone other than Legolas: *bangs their head on rocks*

: aragorn: that girl makes sauron seem like barbie

: Legolas: *Thinking: At least they arn't talking about the insane idea that Gimli and I are married......*

: gimli: marry her

: *flamming orc appers and scorched gimli

: Legolas: You wan't me to marry the evil of the Earth?

: legolas: didnt you learn NOT TO TEASE HER!?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: he is older that my caveman ancestors

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: we are not asking you to marry the toaster are we

: Legolas: Good point, I am 3,000 years older than she is

: aragorn: wait all nine nazgul approach, take the hobbits homicidalpotatoes jasperwillkillmytoaster go home, get safe!

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: aragorn thats gimli moaning in agony

: Homicidalpotatoes: You think the Nazguls would stand a chance aginst Jasperwillkillmytoaster?

: everybody turns to look at gimli

: lets show a flash back

: flashback!!!!

: Oh god

: you ever going to start the flashback?

: the sounds of the deep breathing of the naz gul filled the air."homicidalpotatoes....." jasperwillkillmytoaster whispered. "what?" homicidalpotatoes hissed back. "your not scared are you" jasperwillkillmytoaster said. HELL YES!!!" homicidalpotatoes answerd. "ha," jasperwillkillmytoaster jumps forward. anyone withen a 100 mile radius of weathrstrop that night could her the wail and cries of the naz-gul running screaming from the old fortress any body walking around near bree could find a naz gul sucking his thumb in fetal position.

: end of flashback!!

: I wouldn't have been scared

: alcia: except for the fact that i had a torch...

: I still would not have been scared

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: sure sure

: legolas: where were you when we battled for middle earth!?!?!

: getting her allergy stabs, shes allergic to the world

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: not alive

: if you wern't Alive then how are they here now, suggesting that they are from an alternete demisnon

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO REVEAL MY ONE WEAKNESS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

: lol

: they arent here we are there

: what that your allergic to the grass

: homicidalpotatoes!!

: then we could have gone there during the war

: gimli: you mean i could defeat her with this, *hold up hand ful of grass*?!?!?

: jasperwillkillmytoaster: try it dwarf see what happens

: no, not when she has her alleregy impalements

: gimlidoesnt listen to warning and throws grass at jasperwillkillmytoaster*

: aragorn: it was nice knowing you gimli...

: Legolas: good bye

: saron: *watching the fanghorn forset and see a dwarf size shape fly out of the forest and into moria*

: *dies of laugter*

: i think we should cut

: the end!!

: okay


End file.
